04 November 2015

How I've Made Money vs. How I Want to Make Money

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a lawyer. I didn't have some grandiose idea about changing the world through the justice system, though. I just loved to debate argue. Really. That's it. Which is probably why I never became a lawyer.  There really was never any passion there.

Fast forward to high school. Fortunately, it came easy to me. I managed to earn some college credits and graduate with honors while barely cracking open a textbook. But by the time I got to college I hated school. But! I think that's because, if I'm brutally honest here, I had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I half-heartedly stayed with the "I want to be a lawyer" line for a while, but didn't really feel it. Again, no passion.

I was raised by two hard working parents. My father was in the U.S. Air Force. Mom stayed home when I was real young, but was working outside the home by the time my younger brother was school age. And neither of them ever missed work. Ever. E-ver. You had to be on your death bed to miss work. At least that's how I was raised. So as you might imagine, my work ethic is strong. I've been with the same company for 13 years, and have only missed one day of work.

There are certain parts of my current job I enjoy. I'm a baker, and at it's simplest form, I find it to be fun. I can even have a good night when the production list is two miles long. I've been doing it long enough to have developed a rhythmic pace that feels very comfortable. Unfortunately, I seemed to wake up several years ago to discover I hate my job. I'm sure it was more gradual than that. I've seen many changes in my business over the last (almost) 25 years. I would not describe the majority of them as positive.

Once I realized the disdain I carried for my job, though, I felt trapped. It's a "good" job. Above average, I would say. I don't make a ton of money, and truthfully live paycheck to paycheck, but am able to live fairly comfortably under the right circumstances. You know, as long as I don't try to live above my means and nothing catastophic happens. A pay cut, however (I thought), was out of the question. I wouldn't be able to pay the bills I was accustomed to having.

So I've been sitting in this job far longer than I probably should have. But what could I do? I even told myself, for a time, before every shift, "You are working for the Lord. And that is a worthy task, so do your best with a smile." I also tried to take on an attitude of service. These mind shifts worked for a time.

[Wow. Just now. Il Divo's "Amazing Grace" has come up on my iPod playlist. Coincidence? Probably not.]

After a while, though, these pep talks quit working. I went into a bit of a depression for a while. I even felt like a bit of a weak person. Even a weak follower of Christ. Why can't I do this, be thankful, and even be happy?

What I've learned is that my pep talks were actually working. Sounds crazy, right? Over the past year and a half or so, my desires to serve the Lord have increased exponentially. I want to do so much more for Him and in His name. He has shown me how He wants me to live. And even though I don't know exactly how I will make a living in the near future, I know by faith that He will show me the way. I have many ideas running through my head already. Just not sure down which path He will lead me.

One of my favorite verses right now is 1 Thessalonians 4:11 ~

And I'm excited! I'm filled with passion! Do I expect every day to be a piece of cake? Do I think all my bills will magically disappear without a struggle? Do I expect the future to be smooth sailing? Do I expect the Lord to provide without any sweat of my brow?

Of course not.

But I do know His plan is bigger than anything I can dream. I have seen Him work supernaturally in my life already. I know I am in His favor. And I do know He does provide. According to His riches, not mine.

We are less than two months away from the big move! Keep following this space to see what happens on the journey.

Shared at Coffee and Conversation, Thought Provoking Thursday, UNITE Linky, Word Filled Wednesday, The {Not Just} Homemaking Party, Wake Up Wednesday, Wonderful Wednesday Blog Hop, and Weekend Linkup.


  1. Great post Stephanie. I found the closer I got to retirement and the more reporting I had to do instead of the real job, I got that way. I had to tell myself to do it to the glory of God and work as unto the Lord and forget the rest. A baker sounds fun to me!!!!

    1. Thanks so much, Deborah! I think politics and unreasonable demands are what have caused me to feel flat at the job over the recent years. They seem to set you up for failure -- and know it. On the flip side, always thankful to be employed!

  2. Stephanie, welcome to Thought-Provoking Thursday! Change is so hard. Praying for you in this season of transition.

  3. At least you are honest, I never really had to worry about money or jobs, the money would just pop up when I needed it and I must have worked at a hundred different jobs in my lifetime and at 55 figured I should save some for retirement and not have bills. In my day you could always find a good paying job if you moved around, I also always went to school, I mean always. I learned different trades. Am 70 now and it's been a good life. I have always thought that the life a person makes is up to them.

    1. "I have always thought that the life a person makes is up to them." >> Amen! That's what I'm counting on.


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